Winding Down to One’s Hols

I shall be away next week. Sunny Mallorca beckons. I have been organising. A little ‘Rest and Recuperation’ will do me good. Herself cannot come because her MS has been playing up. Our daughters will look after her while I am away. I enjoy my trips. I stock up with half-price cigs, make a banquet of every meal, read in the afternoons and play chess on my electronic chess set in the evening. It is quite amusing to be playing chess at 2 am whilst sitting just outside a night club, vaguely watching the antics of the yooff. This year will be a bit different since I usually go earlier than August. The reason is that I have to fall in with my daughters’ plans. But I do not mind that at all. This year, they went off to Corfu with my sister’s sons and family at the end of July, which is when I would usually go – at significantly lower cost. But, what the hell.

Mallorca used to be a year-round resort. It is now a sad reflection of Puritanism brought on by Tobacco Control Zealots. Our favourite hotel used to have Christmas dinners and New Year’s Eve events. Now, it closes at the end of October, if not sooner, and does not reopen until April, if not later.

A few years ago, the entertainment bars (those with acts on) were pretty full inside. Now, hardly anyone is inside. The vast majority are outside. What seems to have happened, over time, is that smokers have exiled themselves to the outdoors. Let us get that right. Deb Arnott said, “Smokers will be exiled to the outdoors”. Not quite right, Deb. Smokers have exiled themselves to the outdoors. Thus, in sunny Mallorca, few holiday-makers are indoors. The fun people, people who take risks, are all outdoors. Further, the non-fun people, the non-smokers, have no fun-people, indoors, to entertain them. They too exile themselves to get some fun. Even the night clubs have suffered from the same effect. Comparatively far fewer people are dancing around indoors. They are all outside.

Well, that has been my observation over the last several years. When smokers abandon a place, the non-smokers follow.

But I do not wish to overemphasise. How can we know? Tobacco Control does not do research on the ill effects of Prohibitions. But you would think that the Authorities in Mallorca would notice. Perhaps they prefer smoking bans over employment for their citizens.

I often think about extraction systems. It all seems very simple to me. Tobacco smoke rises in the air because it is warm. So why did/do pubs etc not have simple extraction systems in the ceilings? I do not mean ferocious, massive fans. I mean small, slow fans. Even vents alone, in the ceiling, might have been enough for tobacco smoke to escape. The words ‘in the ceiling’ are the important words.

The real issue, as regards tobacco smoke, revolves around extraction. But we do not want freezing cold pubs because the extraction system is viscous. But there is no need for it to be so. Smoke rises, just as it does so in kitchens. A gently rotating fan in the ceiling will remove all rising gases pronto.

A few months ago, I was coming home from Mallorca. There must have been some delay in the normal processes pre-departure. The passengers had boarded the plane. While we were awaiting completion of baggage loading, etc, a strange mist was emitted from vents in the ceiling of the aircraft. The mist did not drift downwards. I was quite fascinated by it. It billowed around, but always near the ceiling.

Was it physics at work? Was the mist a disinfectant which ought to have been deployed before a new, stinking, infected passenger group boarded the plane? There is no other reasonable explanation. Someone forgot to fumigate the plane before the passengers boarded.

But what did the fumigating  mist consist of? It is almost certain that it was propylene glycol. (Is that right?) The critical thing is that PG is safe to breath. It is widely used in hospitals to fumigate wards.

‘Fumigate’ – ‘to fill with fumes’.

Tobacco smoke has similar properties. It can catch bugs because bugs stick to the smoke.


I have more or less ‘cleared the decks’. I do not give a shit if Local Authority zombies ban smoking in parks. No sensible smoker will take his kids to parks. Thus, the zombies will, eventually, have no parks to go to. But there is an upside – the parks can become housing for immigrants from Syria and Iraq.

What is the problem?



8 Responses to “Winding Down to One’s Hols”

  1. Vaping wino (@castello2) Says:

    Enjoy your vacation!

  2. Samuel Says:

    I recall living in Krakow, Poland about seventeen years ago. When I first arrived I found all the bars had chairs and tables outside, taking advantage of the warm weather but, as Autumn turned to Winter the outside seating went away and I was confused and disappointed to find not a single open bar day or night. It was as if such places only existed for tourists during the sunny season.
    Then I met with some other “foreigners” who had lived there before. They took me into the subterranean world of Krakowian nightlife. All the bars are in the cellars, sometimes two or more levels deep and they stay open and serving customers all night (if there are customers) selling wine, beer, spirits and tobacco. I suppose EU tobacco control has damaged this also but, when I was there there was no such thing and everyone smoked. There was no smoke in the air despite it all being underground with but one way in or out (here, where I live now, this would be a “crime” because a fire might cause a disaster). These basements have been in use for centuries without problems and, though the smoke was easily whisked away, there wasn’t any draft or breeze to cause discomfort even when, in December, the snow was in drifts of several feet topside. The thing is that the anti tobacco zealots have never offered or permitted any views or mitigation measures than theirs.

    • Junican Says:

      I doubt that the Poles are such suckers, even if their Gov makes the right noises to please the EU. Surely, the fact that they have suffered the jackboot twice in recent times has alerted them to persecution? God knows, they have suffered enough to know.

  3. Ed Says:

    Did you hear about this in Bolton, Junican?

    I wouldn’t fancy them in our local park if they’ve not been vetted for drug resistant strains of tb!

    Why on earth aren’t they being tested for diseases??

    • Junican Says:

      How horrible for all concerned. A redistribution of funding is urgently required. But why was this ’emergency’ not seen before? Perhaps the Council was being lectured about smoking bans in parks.

  4. Joe Says:

    The mist was almost certainly water. If the aircraft is humid, when the engines spin up the air conditioning kicks in and the water vapour laden air hits the colder air from the vents and the water condenses. I’ve seen this in aircraft in many places.

    • Junican Says:

      Interesting. The aircraft must have been very damp, or was it that the passengers were very damp? Or both? But why was the vapour so visible? There was no such visibility before it suddenly appeared.
      I do not deny your theory. I do not know. But it was extremely weird at the time. I had never seen such a thing before. And it stopped just as quickly as it began.

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